We have all been there.  in life, in sports, in career, in relationships, we all move through this process.  When we are new to something, most (not all, there are those risky jumpers who take life by the horns and run. ) but most of us step slowly and move in a little deeper as time goes by….that is the subject for today>how to develop someone to take your place in ministry.  Saddleback includes this idea in their training series ”Don’t Lead Alone”

We have put together a 3 minute video to help you understand how to implement the Crawl-Walk-Run

I learned this apprenticing thing long long ago from a man named Peddidle Kelly.  Peddidle was my first manager when I was in retail.  He taught me things like:  lack of communication causes wars and always try to work yourself out of a job because one day you will want to move on and someone here needs to know what you know.   Little did I know that 30 years later my ministry position would live or die on his words, apprentice and communicate!!!!

Who are you apprenticing?  why not try these three simple steps over the next two or three months?

Some of the best lessons a person learns are in the hard times of life or in those projects that require you to work along side someone else.  One of these lessons I have watched lived out in Small Group life is the “Common Enemy.”  Nothing unites a group like a common enemy or common project. We have seen groups struggle to stay together, with several excuses.  However, when offered service project or faced with an enemy (like cancer, divorce, troubled children, house fires, loss of job), the group gets a new burst of life and desire to attack this project or enemy together. Your group may be struggling for direction and unity.  Have you considered a project for your group?  Watch for opportunities to take on a project on the way to work today, or as you drop off your children at school, or as you sit in worship this week.  Look around, God is trying to show you a project. Currently we are assisting several schools with projects like landscaping, fund raising, assisting teachers.  We have groups who work along side the police department for social needs of families.  There are people serving in shelters, preparing meals for families, doing house repairs, teaching community classes, and assisting children with school work.All of these were projects discovered by Small Group members or leaders while watching and seeking God’s guidance for a project.  May He lead you to a service project that will not only help the recipients, but also unite your group.

In studying about Small Group Ministry I came across this list of ways to Coach Small Group Leaders of various personalities, abilities, and experience.  It also has ramifications for each of our lives.   To Coach a Small Group Leader and walk in their life as a mentor, guide, and a person who shares their joys and pains.  Consider which way they want you to relate to them.  Italics section is targeted to everyday life.

-personal:  you talk often, have coffee often, and spend time sharing joys and hurts almost on a daily basis.  Those we are investing in for Christ, walking daily with them in an on-going relationship.  You will share often the stories and situations of life.

-priority: may be a new group leader, young in their experience of leadership.  These are the ones who stay on the top of your list to pray for, contact often, refer to resources and other SG Leaders who can mentor and guide.  Those God has put into your life who have urgent issues, addictions, or crisis in life.  God desires to use you in ministry in these relationships.

-phone:  they have it going on, they lead and communicate with you and others without much need for encouragement.  Their leadership can be discovered, guided and prayed for by an occasional phone call.  Those in your life that are growing, are connected, have direction for their walk with Christ.  All of us need the opportunity to have someone call and ask “how’s it going?”  “Tell me what God is doing in your life.”

-persistent:  the leaders who are aloof, adapt to things later or very hesitantly.  These relationships must be constantly managed so that the leader begins to understand the vision, the purpose and the necessity to communicate and share.  The people God has put in front of you who are not sure they want to hear from God, who are new Christ-followers, who are ‘on the edge.’  Share the love of Christ often with these people.  Be there for them by being persistent in your calls, cards, prayers and visits.

Who do you have in each category?  What are some of your fears that you need to pray through?  Who can you/should you call today?

A common fear from leaders of Small Groups is “’splitting’ my group.”  For some reason this nasty word gets passed down from generation to generation as something that “has to happen” when your group/class begins to grow and/or becomes too large.   NO, it doesn’t have to be this way.

After 21 years in ministry, education ministry focused, I can tell you that I have only tried to split two classes.  Both were obedient attempts in the nature of what I had been taught.  Both caused me much heartburn, lost friendships, sleepless nights and brought no additional classes.  Do I need to tell you that I don’t encourage “splitting” classes/groups anymore?

What we now practice is “Apprenticing.”  Each new Small Group Leader is asked and assisted with the enlistment of an apprentice from the very start of their group.  We ask Small Groups to try and send out an apprentice in 6, 12 or 18 months after the start of their group.

This spring we saw this happen when a fairly new Small Group Leader challenged his group to reach out to their friends and neighbors to start a new, temporary Small Group for 6 weeks.  This was in conjunction with a church-wide study on John 3:16.  Three of the five couples took the challenge and invited people to their house for this six weeks.  What is amazing is that four months later all four groups are still meeting and growing.  They have begun to practice the Discipleship, Community and Service objectives of Small Groups.

We plan to start many groups in 2008 in order to see more people be involved in relationships that are uplifting and inspiring.  Apprenticing and challenging people to see how God wants to use them to build relationship with neighbors and friends is a positive term and experience that enables this to happen.  It has become the foundation we build on to see more and more people develop close, real, transparent friendships where everyone can share their joys and struggles and be encouraged.

Who is your apprentice?

Usually I am a positive guy and try to keep my ramblings on eddiemolsey.com positive.  But today I am taking time to share about something I hate.  I hate divorce.  It makes me angry!  It takes something away from people and families.  It causes heart ache and sleepless nights and pain.

I realize that many people in our community know much more about this issue than I.  Every week I am confronted with another family who is suffering from marriage problems and thoughts of divorce.  I have asked Rodney Wilson, our Marriage and Family Minister to offer some thoughts on this blog as well.  I also used information from the  Emergency Response Handbook by Group Publishing.  This book is available from GroupLife office.

So how does a Small Group (SG) deal with divorce?  You cannot have a Small Group without problems, mainly because small groups consist of people. And people are human and will mess up.  It is the same with marriages. The perfect ones don’t exist this side of heaven. Yet, the SG will be involved.  There is a fine line between caring for the couple and letting them dominate your meeting every week.

· Early signs of trouble:  When verbal shots are taken in Group that might seem offensive to a spouse, make a mental note to speak with one of them after the meeting.  Don’t brush it off!  They may be screaming out for help.  As a SG member or leader you have the responsibility, authority and Holy Spirit guiding you to confront potential problems and walk with fellow strugglers.  Talk to the Lord about this situation. James 1 strongly encourages us to ask for His wisdom when needed. Walking through this difficult situation as a small group leader can develop you into more of what God wants you to be for Him. Sometimes growth is challenging, yet it can make the body of Christ and its leadership stronger.

· When one spouse tries to get you or the group to take sides, don’t.  Instead, the males can take the struggling husband out for coffee and listen to him, let him vent, pray with him, etc. The ladies can do the same for the needful wife.

· Make it clear that you care as a group, but don’t turn the small group meeting into a group therapy session. You are probably not equipped for that. Nor is it what the others signed up for. You will likely end up spinning your wheels and getting nowhere.  Let each of them know that sharing their marital details with everyone in your small group is unproductive for all, including them. Tell them, during prayer time, you need only share “headlines”. Offer the help with finding a marriage counselor if needed, but again, steer away from the couples’ issues being extensively addressed in your small group times.

· Usually one spouse will begin to drop out of SG.  Be sure to contact them and walk with them through this issue.  Don’t make them feel like they have to attend group.  If they decide to leave the group, help them find another place for support and spiritual growth.  Isolation is Satan’s playground.

· The stress of divorce hits unexpectedly and a spouse needs someone to call.  Have your group provide a list of names and numbers of group members whom the person can call when in need of emotional support, child care, fellowship or prayer.

· If needed, do not hesitate to contact your Small Group Coach or Coordinator, a staff member or GroupLife office for assistance and support.  None of us are perfect in handling these type of issues, but don’t go it alone.